I stay somewhat isolated to the news. I watch a little and read a little most days, but not a lot. Today the little bit that I read was about a little girl who loved her mommy.
http://channels.isp.netscape.com/news/story.jsp?flok=FF-APO-1110&idq=/ff/story/0001%2F20090127%2F1605621542.htm&sc=1110&floc=NI-ne3
I can't stop crying.
Or hugging my little Ella. Today I am extra thankful to be here with her, reading books, drawing pictures, and watching the "Roastest Beast" (Maggie and the Ferocious Beast).
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
Friday, January 9, 2009
8
I've been thinking about this particular post for a long while, because he's almost 8. Him. The one who was the first to call me mommy. I remember being pregnant with him and thinking it would never end. Ever. And then he was born and I just knew that I would never again sleep. Ever. It used to feel weird to not hold him, or at least be in the same room as he was. My head knew how silly that was, that I didn't need to be that attached to him, that he would be ok if I couldn't see him at all times. But my heart was a little harder to convince. I'm still working on it. I don't know if it will ever quite understand or agree with my head. Ever.
This picture couldn't be more perfect for showing how I feel.
The time goes by too fast. I feel like I'm a spectator on the edge of his amazing life. Watching him learn and grow and discover every day. Watching him make mistakes and triumphs every single day. It feels like there has been so little time between his first breath to now. By the time he's actually 8, it will have been pretty close to 3,000 days that he's been here with me. 3,000! Where did they all go?
The time goes by too fast. I feel like I'm a spectator on the edge of his amazing life. Watching him learn and grow and discover every day. Watching him make mistakes and triumphs every single day. It feels like there has been so little time between his first breath to now. By the time he's actually 8, it will have been pretty close to 3,000 days that he's been here with me. 3,000! Where did they all go? "Just Be Bwave Mommy, And When I Gun (done), You Will Wook Wike A Angel"
Said by Ella while she is brushing my hair (well, I call it tearing it out by the roots, but whatever.) Then she decided to sing me a lovely song from her recently favorite movie, Annie.
"The gun'll come out, goomorrow YOU BETTER HANG ON TILL GOOMORROW!!!!" That last part that's in all caps? It's not only yelled by Ella, it's yelled with threatening authority. It's kinda like she's saying "Hang on till tomorrow or I'll make you wish you had".
She keeps repeating, "You love ick when me bwush you hair, huh Mommy? You are having so much fun, wike (right)? Huh Mommy?"
I'd better not say no, I think she'll jump me in the hallway if I do.
The other funniest thing she said today was: "Mom!!! Owwww! If I don't eat NOW, I'll be dead!"
"The gun'll come out, goomorrow YOU BETTER HANG ON TILL GOOMORROW!!!!" That last part that's in all caps? It's not only yelled by Ella, it's yelled with threatening authority. It's kinda like she's saying "Hang on till tomorrow or I'll make you wish you had".
She keeps repeating, "You love ick when me bwush you hair, huh Mommy? You are having so much fun, wike (right)? Huh Mommy?"
I'd better not say no, I think she'll jump me in the hallway if I do.
The other funniest thing she said today was: "Mom!!! Owwww! If I don't eat NOW, I'll be dead!"
Tuesday, January 6, 2009
A Poim (By Will, spelling unchanged)
Vilis are blue.
I love you.
I have no clew of what you do.
Woud you ples be port of my crew?
And I can do kung fu.
And I put on a shoe
And I can breakthrough a shoe to.
And I can be trueblue it is very true.
And thank you for all you do too.
And I can go boo hoo too.
And I can make a stew.
I drew a crew.
And how do you do?
I love you.
I have no clew of what you do.
Woud you ples be port of my crew?
And I can do kung fu.
And I put on a shoe
And I can breakthrough a shoe to.
And I can be trueblue it is very true.
And thank you for all you do too.
And I can go boo hoo too.
And I can make a stew.
I drew a crew.
And how do you do?
Sisterly Affection
"Mooooommmm!!!"
"What?"
"When Lainey pulls my hair weally weally hard, my eyes feel like they wanka pop ouck, and thack make me feel nervous!!!"
"What?"
"When Lainey pulls my hair weally weally hard, my eyes feel like they wanka pop ouck, and thack make me feel nervous!!!"
Monday, January 5, 2009
Cold
Today my older children went back to school. It's kind of odd to send my children out into the freezing darkness, I have to say. I wrapped them both up to within an inch of their lives because, well, it's nine zillion degrees below zero. You think I'm kidding. I am not. The tires of Ben's truck have actually frozen to the driveway. And one wheel doesn't particularly want to turn when not in 4 wheel drive. I think the HIGH today is slated to be -5. Did you notice the negative sign before the 5? Just making sure.
Saturday, December 20, 2008
Why Can't It Just Be Enjoyable?
Why has Christmas become so stressful?
As a kid, no stress whatsoever. Lots of presents. Lots of goodies. Lots of magic. But no stress.
As an adult? Gobs and heaps of stress. Piles. Mountains. Stress stress stress.
I like to blame it on Ben. Because the poor guy has been branded as THE Grinch Incarnate. But really, it's not his fault. He's actually been pretty wonderful this year.
I, on the other hand, am running around like a shrew. I don't know how to balance the "shoulds" with the "wants". I want my children to have magical, happy memories. To understand the real meaning of Christmas. To get that the part about giving is so much more important. To understand why Christ was born. To know that He loves and knows them.
It's all clear in my head. The days leading up to Christmas are filled with service projects. Gifts for the homeless, baking yummy treats for friends and neighbors. Thoughtfully making or picking out gifts for family. Christmas parties and concerts. Sledding and hot cocoa. Reading the Christmas story from the Bible while sleepy blond haired babes listen contently, feeling the particular warmth and joy that only that story can bring. Happy, well rested, children in matching pajamas waking up to a sparkling tree with hills of beautifully wrapped gifts arranged beneath. Marvelling at just how Santa got there, laughing that he ate the cookies and left a note and just knowing that the reindeer liked the carrots. Opening gifts and being delighted with each and every one.
When really, what will happen is we'll spend a lot of time getting places not quite on time or not at all. We'll get some baking and delivering done but not all of it. Extended family will get to make their Christmas last a little longer by opening gifts from us a day or two after the actual holiday because I'm slow and cheap so the gifts will be mailed a little late and not express-super-duper-over-night-maybe-while-you're-still-in-bed-in-the-middle-of-the-night-for-a-mere-$899.52-plus-the-promise-of-your-first-born-child-and-your-favorite-pair-of-shoes. My kids will wear their favorite pj's because sewing 4 pairs of new Christmas pajamas are probably not happening. The gifts will be there, but they'll be lucky to all have a bow. Chances are good that they won't eat anything but the cereal that will be in their stockings (gotta love those mini boxes!) and chocolate until noonish. I'll throw something together for lunch and probably end up being angry with one or more family members for complaining about what it is. (Chocolate and carrots and water are about the only things the entire family all like.) Then at least two of the children will be sent back to bed for a nap because I am sure they will wake well before they should, (last year it was 2:30 a.m.) and will have dissolved into puddles of tears from sleep deprivation, sugar, and excitement by then. Everyone will act like I've just asked them to impale themselves on red hot spikes when I tell them it's time to clean up wrapping paper. I'll make dinner while the kids run around with their toys. I'll look longingly at my bed every now and then and wish for a Christmas nap for myself. The rest of the day gets a little hard to guess at at this point. There are about 900 ways it could go, most of them not pretty. The over stimulation of the entire day will cause most or all of us to succumb to some sort of upset and we'll all go to bed later than we should and not until we've all grumped at one another for slights real and imagined.
So I guess what I will do is adjust the should and want lists right here and now. I will take most everything off of the should list and transfer it to the want list. The should list will now read: Be happy. Be thankful. Have fun. And that's it. And then, I hope, all of the wants will fall into place.
As a kid, no stress whatsoever. Lots of presents. Lots of goodies. Lots of magic. But no stress.
As an adult? Gobs and heaps of stress. Piles. Mountains. Stress stress stress.
I like to blame it on Ben. Because the poor guy has been branded as THE Grinch Incarnate. But really, it's not his fault. He's actually been pretty wonderful this year.
I, on the other hand, am running around like a shrew. I don't know how to balance the "shoulds" with the "wants". I want my children to have magical, happy memories. To understand the real meaning of Christmas. To get that the part about giving is so much more important. To understand why Christ was born. To know that He loves and knows them.
It's all clear in my head. The days leading up to Christmas are filled with service projects. Gifts for the homeless, baking yummy treats for friends and neighbors. Thoughtfully making or picking out gifts for family. Christmas parties and concerts. Sledding and hot cocoa. Reading the Christmas story from the Bible while sleepy blond haired babes listen contently, feeling the particular warmth and joy that only that story can bring. Happy, well rested, children in matching pajamas waking up to a sparkling tree with hills of beautifully wrapped gifts arranged beneath. Marvelling at just how Santa got there, laughing that he ate the cookies and left a note and just knowing that the reindeer liked the carrots. Opening gifts and being delighted with each and every one.
When really, what will happen is we'll spend a lot of time getting places not quite on time or not at all. We'll get some baking and delivering done but not all of it. Extended family will get to make their Christmas last a little longer by opening gifts from us a day or two after the actual holiday because I'm slow and cheap so the gifts will be mailed a little late and not express-super-duper-over-night-maybe-while-you're-still-in-bed-in-the-middle-of-the-night-for-a-mere-$899.52-plus-the-promise-of-your-first-born-child-and-your-favorite-pair-of-shoes. My kids will wear their favorite pj's because sewing 4 pairs of new Christmas pajamas are probably not happening. The gifts will be there, but they'll be lucky to all have a bow. Chances are good that they won't eat anything but the cereal that will be in their stockings (gotta love those mini boxes!) and chocolate until noonish. I'll throw something together for lunch and probably end up being angry with one or more family members for complaining about what it is. (Chocolate and carrots and water are about the only things the entire family all like.) Then at least two of the children will be sent back to bed for a nap because I am sure they will wake well before they should, (last year it was 2:30 a.m.) and will have dissolved into puddles of tears from sleep deprivation, sugar, and excitement by then. Everyone will act like I've just asked them to impale themselves on red hot spikes when I tell them it's time to clean up wrapping paper. I'll make dinner while the kids run around with their toys. I'll look longingly at my bed every now and then and wish for a Christmas nap for myself. The rest of the day gets a little hard to guess at at this point. There are about 900 ways it could go, most of them not pretty. The over stimulation of the entire day will cause most or all of us to succumb to some sort of upset and we'll all go to bed later than we should and not until we've all grumped at one another for slights real and imagined.
So I guess what I will do is adjust the should and want lists right here and now. I will take most everything off of the should list and transfer it to the want list. The should list will now read: Be happy. Be thankful. Have fun. And that's it. And then, I hope, all of the wants will fall into place.
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