The tv is on and Will is in charge of the remote. Will, Spencer, Elizabeth, Ella, and Max are all glued to the show that is on. It's about how to survive a home invasion. (LOL and what the heck???)
The host is talking about how to use the Sleeper Hold to paralyze your captors. Will and Max are glued to the process and the diagrams of exactly how to do this the right way because as Will says - "You just want to put him to sleep, not put him into a coma." (good grief) Max looks at Will and says: "Will, this is good stuff, this is really good stuff!!
Then Ella looks at Will and says: "Gurn this OFF!!! Icks keachin (teaching) me bad stuff!"
Friday, September 25, 2009
Thursday, September 17, 2009
5
That is the number of times that I have fallen down because I have slipped in something gross left on the floor of my home by someone else. Either puke or pee. I guess I'm loosing my sense of humor about it because this last time, nobody would fess up to who's puke was responsible for the shooting pain and swelling in my knee and my sudden need for a shower. When I told Ben about it, he replied "I don't blame them. I wouldn't tell you if it were me, either. You know I'm at work, right? That there's no way that it could have been me."
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
Dear Everyone
I am a terrible blogger.
Like you all didn't know.
Ha.
It's been over four months. FOUR MONTHS!
And a lot of stuff happened in those four months.
Will got Baptized in March while we were still in Alaska. And I actually have pictures. Not on me or anywhere near me of course. (Why would I actually USE the pictures that I took the time to snap? That's just crazy talk.) He is huge. Who told him that he could grow up?
In May, we packed two trailers and drove them from south central Alaska to south eastern Idaho. It was supposed to take, at most, 5 days (we were secretly hoping for it to take 4. Stop laughing). It took 9. Or 8 or 10. I don't even know anymore. It was quite an adventure. And because of it, my kids all now love Celtic Thunder (thanks Lays!!! You guys ROCK!). Driving through upper Alaska, the Yukon Territory, and British Columbia is mostly empty of people and radio-station-less. And also full of bears and weird caribou/mountain goat looking animals and porcupines that climb trees. (Shush Ben. I did too see them. And so did Will.) And much of the trip is seriously lacking in bathrooms. SERIOUSLY. DO SOMETHING ABOUT THE LACK OF BATHROOMS, CANADA! Something I discovered on the trip that really surprised me: Canadians really like to talk about public health insurance once they realize that you're an American. They would just bring it up to me while they were ringing up my purchases at gas stations, grocery stores, and hotels. They (at least the ones I talked to) seem to have this idea that a good chunk of the population of our country is forced to spend our time crawling through the streets in agony while our appendix burst and limbs fall off with no hope of medical attention while doctors just stand around and point and laugh. I quickly assured each of them that no, things like that only ever happen with specialists in Alaska and in Communist countries. Ha. They didn't find me funny. Good thing I do. :)
It was a little longer after we moved to Idaho before the house we planned to move into was ready. So we stayed with my sister Amanda and her husband Jed and their kids. The answer to your question is yes. Each of them will be sainted at any moment now. And now all of my children think of Kolby, Max, and Madelynn as their siblings. It's rare for us to go anywhere that they don't ask if "the other Clarks" can come. I love it.
The kids spent the summer running through the sprinklers, playing soccer, building a fort (it is still a work in progress and occupies hours of their time on a weekly basis) camping, and Ella learned to ride her bike without training wheels. Will and Elizabeth both lost most of their teeth. Or at least it felt like they did. Jack, our giant 9 month old "puppy" (he's 85 Lbs), got caught in a Hobo trap. That was fun. If you're looking for a good time, try cutting a sticky glue-y trap out of your overly large, slobbering, jumping dog's fur at 5 a.m. Then you'll know what fun is.
I know that ten zillion other things happened, too. Good things. Funny things. Memorable things even. Do I remember them? Not at the moment. Or maybe ever. At least not on my own. I'm sure that Ben will remind me of them and then I can come back and post them. Around January.
See you then!
Like you all didn't know.
Ha.
It's been over four months. FOUR MONTHS!
And a lot of stuff happened in those four months.
Will got Baptized in March while we were still in Alaska. And I actually have pictures. Not on me or anywhere near me of course. (Why would I actually USE the pictures that I took the time to snap? That's just crazy talk.) He is huge. Who told him that he could grow up?
In May, we packed two trailers and drove them from south central Alaska to south eastern Idaho. It was supposed to take, at most, 5 days (we were secretly hoping for it to take 4. Stop laughing). It took 9. Or 8 or 10. I don't even know anymore. It was quite an adventure. And because of it, my kids all now love Celtic Thunder (thanks Lays!!! You guys ROCK!). Driving through upper Alaska, the Yukon Territory, and British Columbia is mostly empty of people and radio-station-less. And also full of bears and weird caribou/mountain goat looking animals and porcupines that climb trees. (Shush Ben. I did too see them. And so did Will.) And much of the trip is seriously lacking in bathrooms. SERIOUSLY. DO SOMETHING ABOUT THE LACK OF BATHROOMS, CANADA! Something I discovered on the trip that really surprised me: Canadians really like to talk about public health insurance once they realize that you're an American. They would just bring it up to me while they were ringing up my purchases at gas stations, grocery stores, and hotels. They (at least the ones I talked to) seem to have this idea that a good chunk of the population of our country is forced to spend our time crawling through the streets in agony while our appendix burst and limbs fall off with no hope of medical attention while doctors just stand around and point and laugh. I quickly assured each of them that no, things like that only ever happen with specialists in Alaska and in Communist countries. Ha. They didn't find me funny. Good thing I do. :)
It was a little longer after we moved to Idaho before the house we planned to move into was ready. So we stayed with my sister Amanda and her husband Jed and their kids. The answer to your question is yes. Each of them will be sainted at any moment now. And now all of my children think of Kolby, Max, and Madelynn as their siblings. It's rare for us to go anywhere that they don't ask if "the other Clarks" can come. I love it.
The kids spent the summer running through the sprinklers, playing soccer, building a fort (it is still a work in progress and occupies hours of their time on a weekly basis) camping, and Ella learned to ride her bike without training wheels. Will and Elizabeth both lost most of their teeth. Or at least it felt like they did. Jack, our giant 9 month old "puppy" (he's 85 Lbs), got caught in a Hobo trap. That was fun. If you're looking for a good time, try cutting a sticky glue-y trap out of your overly large, slobbering, jumping dog's fur at 5 a.m. Then you'll know what fun is.
I know that ten zillion other things happened, too. Good things. Funny things. Memorable things even. Do I remember them? Not at the moment. Or maybe ever. At least not on my own. I'm sure that Ben will remind me of them and then I can come back and post them. Around January.
See you then!
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
Where Am I And Who Are All These People Calling Me Mommy?
I remember my cousin Becky saying that to me once. That sometimes it felt like one minute she was 12 and thinking about what color to paint her fingernails, and the next minute she was standing in the kitchen of her own home with multitudes of little children swarming around her, all asking for a hundred different things at once.
I feel that way a lot.
Usually every day or two I think to myself that I need to blog about this or that but don't get around to it. And then there are moments when one of my sweet little children will do something so funny that I find myself thinking that I HAVE to blog right away before the funny little thing is misplaced in the jumble of gray goo that I lovingly call my brain.
Today Elizabeth asked me if she could use my hand weights because she wants to "build up her muscles so that she can conquer the monkey bars". Sure, use them all you want I say. Elizabeth, being the teacher that she is, immediately gave Elaina the smallest set of weights so that she can "get tougher too". As she handed them to her, she made the observation that not only are they Elaina sized but that they also match her outfit. It's always a plus to match your exercise equipment, I would say.
A little while later, after Elizabeth had left Elaina and I to fend for ourselves and also coincidentally the next time that I unglued my eyes from the computer screen, I turned to see that Ella was now holding the weights, flailing her arms wildly about while singing her little heart out to a mixture of show tunes from Annie and The Sound of Music... wearing only a hooded towel. I guess she's trying to bring new meaning to the phrase 'dance like nobody is watching'.
In other news, we are moving. And yes, we are crazy. For the kids and I, it's only been 10 months since we last did this. Help.
I feel that way a lot.
Usually every day or two I think to myself that I need to blog about this or that but don't get around to it. And then there are moments when one of my sweet little children will do something so funny that I find myself thinking that I HAVE to blog right away before the funny little thing is misplaced in the jumble of gray goo that I lovingly call my brain.
Today Elizabeth asked me if she could use my hand weights because she wants to "build up her muscles so that she can conquer the monkey bars". Sure, use them all you want I say. Elizabeth, being the teacher that she is, immediately gave Elaina the smallest set of weights so that she can "get tougher too". As she handed them to her, she made the observation that not only are they Elaina sized but that they also match her outfit. It's always a plus to match your exercise equipment, I would say.
A little while later, after Elizabeth had left Elaina and I to fend for ourselves and also coincidentally the next time that I unglued my eyes from the computer screen, I turned to see that Ella was now holding the weights, flailing her arms wildly about while singing her little heart out to a mixture of show tunes from Annie and The Sound of Music... wearing only a hooded towel. I guess she's trying to bring new meaning to the phrase 'dance like nobody is watching'.
In other news, we are moving. And yes, we are crazy. For the kids and I, it's only been 10 months since we last did this. Help.
Friday, March 27, 2009
Oy.
"William, please wear your black jeans to school today."
45 minutes later, as soon as Will jumps in the car as we leave at the last possible minute that we can and still have him be on time:
"Will! I remember specifically asking you to wear your BLACK jeans to school today! Why are you wearing those ones instead?"
"Well, mom, you said 'please wear your black jeans'. I thought that saying 'please' really made it more of a 'suggestion' than a 'requirement'."
45 minutes later, as soon as Will jumps in the car as we leave at the last possible minute that we can and still have him be on time:
"Will! I remember specifically asking you to wear your BLACK jeans to school today! Why are you wearing those ones instead?"
"Well, mom, you said 'please wear your black jeans'. I thought that saying 'please' really made it more of a 'suggestion' than a 'requirement'."
Friday, March 20, 2009
Ha
"Steph, those cornbread muffins that you made tonight for dinner were really good."
"I'm glad that you liked them."
"No, I mean they were like really, really good. Like the best ones you've ever made."
(I'm laughing a little by now) "Dear, for the very first time in our almost 9 year marriage, I made the muffins from a box and not from scratch."
"I'm glad that you liked them."
"No, I mean they were like really, really good. Like the best ones you've ever made."
(I'm laughing a little by now) "Dear, for the very first time in our almost 9 year marriage, I made the muffins from a box and not from scratch."
Thursday, March 5, 2009
Clarks Are Kind
Pat, I know this will be hard for you to read, but my kids aren't perfect. They are very good most of the time, it's true. And they try extra hard when their Manga is around to "be even gooder" as Ella would say. But sadly, sometimes they fight. Sometimes they are what we in our family call "rudey".
Very often I sing some of the lines to "Let us oft speak kind words" when they start bickering with each other. Whichever kids are fighting are sure to roll their eyes, and whichever kids are not fighting are sure to join in with me in my singing to the "rudies".
Ella no longer needs me to help her with this. She hears Will and Beth fighting and she is off in a flash singing at a semi-deafening volume: "Peak all nice words to eek udder, ack home eeder ever you may beeeeeeee!"
Oh Ella, I just love you forever.
Very often I sing some of the lines to "Let us oft speak kind words" when they start bickering with each other. Whichever kids are fighting are sure to roll their eyes, and whichever kids are not fighting are sure to join in with me in my singing to the "rudies".
Ella no longer needs me to help her with this. She hears Will and Beth fighting and she is off in a flash singing at a semi-deafening volume: "Peak all nice words to eek udder, ack home eeder ever you may beeeeeeee!"
Oh Ella, I just love you forever.
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