Why Can't It Just Be Enjoyable?

Why has Christmas become so stressful?



As a kid, no stress whatsoever. Lots of presents. Lots of goodies. Lots of magic. But no stress.



As an adult? Gobs and heaps of stress. Piles. Mountains. Stress stress stress.



I like to blame it on Ben. Because the poor guy has been branded as THE Grinch Incarnate. But really, it's not his fault. He's actually been pretty wonderful this year.



I, on the other hand, am running around like a shrew. I don't know how to balance the "shoulds" with the "wants". I want my children to have magical, happy memories. To understand the real meaning of Christmas. To get that the part about giving is so much more important. To understand why Christ was born. To know that He loves and knows them.



It's all clear in my head. The days leading up to Christmas are filled with service projects. Gifts for the homeless, baking yummy treats for friends and neighbors. Thoughtfully making or picking out gifts for family. Christmas parties and concerts. Sledding and hot cocoa. Reading the Christmas story from the Bible while sleepy blond haired babes listen contently, feeling the particular warmth and joy that only that story can bring. Happy, well rested, children in matching pajamas waking up to a sparkling tree with hills of beautifully wrapped gifts arranged beneath. Marvelling at just how Santa got there, laughing that he ate the cookies and left a note and just knowing that the reindeer liked the carrots. Opening gifts and being delighted with each and every one.



When really, what will happen is we'll spend a lot of time getting places not quite on time or not at all. We'll get some baking and delivering done but not all of it. Extended family will get to make their Christmas last a little longer by opening gifts from us a day or two after the actual holiday because I'm slow and cheap so the gifts will be mailed a little late and not express-super-duper-over-night-maybe-while-you're-still-in-bed-in-the-middle-of-the-night-for-a-mere-$899.52-plus-the-promise-of-your-first-born-child-and-your-favorite-pair-of-shoes. My kids will wear their favorite pj's because sewing 4 pairs of new Christmas pajamas are probably not happening. The gifts will be there, but they'll be lucky to all have a bow. Chances are good that they won't eat anything but the cereal that will be in their stockings (gotta love those mini boxes!) and chocolate until noonish. I'll throw something together for lunch and probably end up being angry with one or more family members for complaining about what it is. (Chocolate and carrots and water are about the only things the entire family all like.) Then at least two of the children will be sent back to bed for a nap because I am sure they will wake well before they should, (last year it was 2:30 a.m.) and will have dissolved into puddles of tears from sleep deprivation, sugar, and excitement by then. Everyone will act like I've just asked them to impale themselves on red hot spikes when I tell them it's time to clean up wrapping paper. I'll make dinner while the kids run around with their toys. I'll look longingly at my bed every now and then and wish for a Christmas nap for myself. The rest of the day gets a little hard to guess at at this point. There are about 900 ways it could go, most of them not pretty. The over stimulation of the entire day will cause most or all of us to succumb to some sort of upset and we'll all go to bed later than we should and not until we've all grumped at one another for slights real and imagined.

So I guess what I will do is adjust the should and want lists right here and now. I will take most everything off of the should list and transfer it to the want list. The should list will now read: Be happy. Be thankful. Have fun. And that's it. And then, I hope, all of the wants will fall into place.

Some (totally random) Updating

There is a lot of snow here. Yes, I know I live in Alaska. I'm not complaining, it's nice. The only trying part is how much time I have to spend wondering where in the heck fifty percent of the people who live here thought they were going when they got in their cars on any particular day. Do they not see the snow? Can they not tell that there is ice under the snow? Do they not realize that going eighty miles per hour for approximately ten miles and then spending the next three hours digging themselves out enough for a tow truck to pull their car out of the ditch is not an effective use of their time? Have they not driven on the roads enough by now to have seen this exact thing happen over and over and over again? It's all very perplexing.

Ben passed two of the four CPA tests. Yay Ben!! We are still waiting to hear about the third test and he will take the fourth at the end of the month. Ben is awesome. And nice. And pretty much perfect. Hey Ben, if you're reading this? Work schwork. Come home and hang out with us. We miss you and we really like you a lot.

Every Friday is popcorn Friday at the kids' school. They can buy brown paper bags full of popcorn lovingly popped by the PTA members just that morning for a mere 25 cents. If Will and Elizabeth want popcorn, they take some of their allowance to buy it. Beth usually comes home with at least one bag, sometimes as many as 4 (she says she's saving it for later? Maybe somehow that Mormon food storage gene has been triggered in her?) and Will - he never takes any money. To quote him "Why should I spend my money on popcorn when I know there will be some in the prize box at the end of the day? And I'm always so good, I get to pick lots of things out." Cheap and cocky.

Tonight Will, Beth, and Ella are making dinner. This should be interesting. I will be right there to supervise all oven usage and answer all questions relating to seasoning and fractions of course. This should be fun, and interesting. And later, depending on how it goes, I may be thinking Arby's.

I don't think my children need any toys this Christmas. They have Elaina. I'm not joking. From the instant Will and Beth arrive home, they whisk her away and start making up games with her at their center. "Pretend she's a princess in a big puffy dress with the most beautifullest crown. And pretend that she has some hair." Or "Pretend she's a giant lizard and she's crushing this town (shapes made out of Lego's or shoes or books) with her giant lizard feet. But she's disguised as a cute baby. Then nobody will know she's really the lizard. Unless they smell her. (this was the part where I was called to diaper duty.) " Or "Lets pretend she's a horse. A magic horse. One that makes rainbows when she flys. Pretend her drool looks like a rainbow, okay?" I'm glad they see her as a princess-lizard-horse and not a bald, stinky drool factory.

This year, the kids designed and created their own stockings. And we made a lot of ornaments for our tree. (We usually make some, but this year we made almost all.) It's been so very much fun. I'm sure there will be pictures of them all when I post the Christmas pictures.

A conversation between Beth and I:

Me: Beth, you're a lady. Please don't say fart. Say toot.
Beth: Or, you know, I could just say 'something from my gluteus that wasn't poop'. That would work too, right Mom?

I am so excited that the darkest part of the year is almost over. It's been really hard to get up and get the kids to school way before the sun comes up and then to have it get dark just after 4 p.m. It's also kinda weird to have the sun always hang out on the horizon and never get to the middle of the sky. But in just a little more than a week the daylight will begin it's comeback. Yay!!

"Mom?" said Beth. "I was thinking, I need to do some Christmas shopping." "Okay, who for?" I said. "For me. But I want to surprise myself. So you can take me to the store and I will close my eyes and pick out my present just using my ears and my hands. Then when I find it, I will put it in the cart and you cover it up so I won't know what it is."

Go To Bed

That's a phrase I say.... a lot. It's usually met with responses like "I'm not tired", "I'm thirsty", "I'm hungry" "My toe, elbow, armpit etc. hurts", or, my personal favorite "Can I stay up if I puke?"

So last night, I sat my kids down. I laid down some very specific ground rules. "Get a drink, brush your teeth, use the bathroom, get a book. If you don't do these things before you get into bed, you will just have to wait and do them in the morning." (I'm so nice.) Because of their subsequent questions, I added two exceptions. "If you are bleeding or someone is trying to break into your window, you can get out of your bed before morning." So they did great with this clear rule to follow. The are still able to read in their beds and talk with one another and they were happy, I was happy.

So tonight I hear Beth. "Mommy?" "Beth, are you out of bed?" "Yes Mommy. But it is because Ella is bleeding." "What?!? Ella is bleeding?" "Yes Mommy" came Ella's voice "me pick a scab. Me get out of bed?"

Oh good grief.

Happy Halloween!!!

I'm so awesome. Two years ago, I got the pictures up in mid-November. And I don't think that I even posted the pictures of last year. What is today? November third? Wahoo!



Elaina. The pudgy fairy. She only wore her costume for picture purposes. And for that reason, I don't feel bad that I didn't make her tu tu like I did for Elizabeth and Ella. Or maybe I only feel a little bad.






She spent all of trick-or-treating in her car seat under a quilt in the van with the heater on full blast because the door had to be opened repeatedly for trick-or-treating entrances and exits. And can I just say that it is my personal opinion that whoever invented the push button sliding door on minivans was a saint or else they must have taken small children trick-or-treating in sub zero weather? Handy, I tell you. (Even though I didn't make Elaina's tu tu, I did make her trick or treat bag. She loves it, actually. Who would have thought???)




Fairy Princess Ella and her Daddy. She loved her costume. Most of all she loved it that she got to wear make up and have glitter in her hair. She kept telling anyone who would listen "Me a pairwee, me got a tu tu!" So cute.





Elizabeth was a fairy, also. She kept talking about her "periwinkle headband. You know Mom, periwinkle, not blue, not purple, but bluish purple, like, well, like periwinkle!!"




And last but not least - Will. Can you guess who he dressed up as???



No? Still need a little help?? Does this make it easier???

What a funny boy! He was so happy about this costume. He even made a lego cellphone, ha ha! He sure loves his Dad. While I was putting his goatee on, he told me "Mom, this is my favorite costume ever. Dad is just so cool!"

I like this picture of Will and Elaina because I remember that Beth was a butterfly for her first Halloween and I have a picture very similar to this of Beth. And now she can read and ride a bike and say periwinkle. Sniff!

The kids were kind enough to model the Halloween trick-or-treat bags that I made for them. It was actually a really fun project and they loved being able to wear them across their bodies for some reason. Maybe it was because they got FULL really fast (people in Alaska are generous to those willing to brave the frozen weather and trick-or-treat, I guess. We'd only gone up two streets before they were filled, and they have just as much space inside as a plastic pumpkin does.

Happy Halloween!!!

My Children Are Funny. And Weird. But Mostly Sweet.

The other day Ben was driving the kids somewhere. Inevitably, Will and Elizabeth got into an argument about something. Beth kept saying that Will was rude, which was really ticking him off. Ben told them to stop talking to each other at all. So then Beth piped up (to no one in particular) "I'm so glad that I'm in Kindergarten and not Second Grade because I KNOW there are some RUDE people in Second Grade." She is her father's daughter!

There was a Halloween, or excuse me, FALL Carnival at the kids' school the other night. I gave Will some tickets to go around to some games and told him to check in with me after every two games. (How did he get old enough to be allowed to do that, I ask you???) At one point I saw him and stopped to talk. He told me that he'd gone through the trick or treat hall and I asked where his bag of candy was. He said: "Mom, bags cost TWO TICKETS. Why do you think I have pockets?" He is his father's son!

Ella just came running up to me while I was surfing the internet. She stared at me without saying anything, so naturally I looked over at her. She said: "Mom, do you peel wike you need be nervous?" and then began laughing hysterically while her eyes bulged out of their sockets.

Right this minute, all four of my children are in my bedroom laying on the floor while Will reads to them from an animal encyclopedia. (They sound like nerds but they like it, so hey. At least they're not drawing on the walls, right?) Will asked Beth "what animal would you like to learn about next?" and Beth said: "Hmmm, just a minute. Lainey, what would you like to learn about?" (leaning her ear down near Lainey's mouth.) At this point, Lainey begins to grunt and squeal for joy because she is in grabbing proximity of Beth's long hair. Beth patiently and gently takes her hair from Lainey's hand and then says: "Hmm, oh, what was that last part? Oh, OK!!" Then she turns to Will and says: "We would like to learn about owls please." A few minutes later all three older kids are trying to teach Elaina how to whoot like an owl. It's so cute to see her happy little drooling face as she sits in the middle of her whooting siblings.

And here are some catch up pictures. I know it is annoying to post a bunch of random pictures, but it's better than posting no pictures, right? I'm a little disappointed that I can't use my free Picasa photo editing software on these pictures (to fix the contrast - my point and shoot can only do so much, ya know?). I can't get it to work for some reason. The internet here is a little patchy and if I fight with it any longer, I will pull what is left of my hair (I just had a baby so I'm seriously loosing it all *sob*) out of my head. And I like having hair so I will settle for non-contrasted pictures.

These are the two dogs that we *almost* had trained to be service dogs for Ben. Ella ended up not being able to be around them. They were the sweetest and HUGEST things. They were just over a year old in these pictures. They are the size of my cedar chest. These pictures do not do them justice.

Ella spent most of her time the first day the dogs were here sitting here or on the back of the love seat because she was petrified of them. After the first day she realized they were just giant slobbery hearts wrapped in fur and she decided that she could pet them and touch them. They were so good to her. They were great with all of the kids. Their names were Venus and Hera. Ella can't say "V", she makes the "P" sound instead. So she sat on the edge of the love seat all evening talking loudly to Venus, telling her to sit and and come here. You figure out why that was hilarious.

Alaska is so beautiful. Most of the pictures I've taken have been through the window or windshield of a moving car (hence the many shots I have with the road in them) so they don't do it justice. So times these pictures by like 100 and you'll be getting close to how beautiful it is.

This is one I took on the way to the Nature Preserve for Elizabeth's field trip. See the sun? It's like 10 am and that's where it was. And that was like a month ago. There's still plenty of light right now, and where we live will never be completely dark even in the dead of winter but I have to say it is kinda weird. It messes up your sense of direction (like I needed any help in that department) to have the sun change all the time and never be where you expect it to be for the time of day that it is.

Anchorage has a really fast tide. Most of what you see towards the bottom and the middle of the screen is not covered in hardly any water and underneath it is sand that is famous for sucking tourists in, to their death. So just a little tidbit if you ever come to Alaska: Don't go out on the beaches around Anchorage even though they are pretty!

Ella and Elaina were troopers on the field trip to the Nature Preserve. They had lots of fun. Elizabeth was so sweet with them. She kept making sure that Elaina was warm enough and taking Ella by the hand so that she could look at everything that the class was seeing.

This lady was so nice. She was our tour guide. It was really funny when she asked the kids if they had any questions about the salmon. A little girl asked how the fish could communicate with each other. A little boy asked if they had venom so that they could disable their enemies in battle.
This was after Will and Beth's race for running club. They were so proud of their little medals!


I have 5-10 more pictures that I want to upload but I've run out of time. I will put them on as soon as I can!

Things 3 Year Old Ella's Should Know

Yes, I think you are a wonderful spinner. Yes, you do a great job. Yes, even with your "wainbooks" on.

Creating imaginary friends is cute and it makes me laugh. I'm glad that Gangook doesn't have any aldergators in her swimming pool. And I'm glad that Gingle Mommy will let you live with her if I ever die. I find it a little disturbing that you already have a plan in place should I die, but hey, I'm glad you're prepared.

Stuffing a no-bake cookie up your nose? Not a good idea. Yes I understand that it makes your nose smell like "gawkolawt"(chocolate), but still, not a good idea.


Getting dressed for the day by putting on a tutu and your pink rain boots over your moose jammies makes you perfectly, squishably adorable. And yes, if I did have to go to the store and you wanted to wear that, I would let you. And yes, I think it is "most beautiful pretty" too.

I'm glad that I'm your "pavorite Mommy ever" and your "best Mommy" too. You can say that as much as you want. And yes, you will get cookies if you say it often enough.

Yes, we can go back to the "wieberry" and get you more Max and Ruby books. And no, I'm so sorry, but you can't grow a bunny tail. No matter how hard you try. Yes, it would be "so so so cuke". But no matter how cute it would inevitably be, it will not work.

Yes, I can see you, too. Yes, even when you stand that close. I'm sorry helping me sweep up your mess "hurks your bwain", but it must be done. And no, you can't eat the crumbs off the floor instead of letting me sweep them, even if they are "just gooliscious". Sorry.

Your big brother and sister will be home soon, I promise. I know it's hard. It's hard for me, too. And yes, I know you would be a "berry berry berry good girl" if you could just go with them to school. But don't grow up too fast, ok? That's what the first two have done. Not you, too. Mommy's heart can only take so much. And no, I don't think it's a good idea to wait at the window staring outside for them "awl, awl, AWL day wong". Come play with me, instead.


I'm sorry that you "miss all your gwammas and fun gwampas" and "AWL AWL AWL of your pamily". I miss them, too. Yes, it would be lovely if you could have a marching band with Kolby, Max, Emma, and Cooper. And yes, I'm sure they'd let you be in the front sometimes. And I'm sure that Will, Beth, Bennett, and Spencer wouldn't mind that it would be "their job" to just watch and maybe hum sometimes, but only when you say.


Yes, "Wed Wover" is the "berry best game, EVER". I agree.

I don't know when you will be able to have "wunch" with your "Gaddy" at "hims work". Yes, I'm sure that if you ask him "pwetty pwease" he will let you have lunch with him at work one day. Because you and I both know, that ALL you have to do to get something from your sweet Daddy is just ask.

I Think I Would Rather Have My Arm Sawed Off

over ever spending this much time away from Ben again. It's killing me! I'm just no good without him. I guess that's a great way to feel after 8 years and 4 kids, though.

Speaking of kids, Elizabeth lost her first tooth! And Elaina laughs out loud and rolls from her back to her side. And poor Ella and Will both look like they're abused children. They've enjoyed the summer a ton and therefore have all the scrapes and bruises to prove it.

I have a lot of pictures to post from the fun things we've been doing. I just haven't been able to find the time to put them up because by the end of the day I'm pooped. 4 kids is a lot, incase you were wondering. And 4 kids 7 and under? Really a lot. But I really do love every minute of it.

The kids and I will be flying to Alaska in 8 short days. I am so so so excited. I keep having dreams that giant moose want to talk to me, though. Hee Hee. I guess the fact that I saw 5 moose in people's yards while I was there had more of an affect on me than I thought. Or maybe it's just my brains way of protecting itself from having dreams of what could (and probably will) happen on my marathon trip alone with 4 kids. I haven't flown with kids since Will was little enough to ride on my lap and he cried the whole time the last time I did it. Maybe Elaina will take pity on me and be the perfect little angel that she normally is. I'm sure hoping. And I'm not above the liberal use of Benadryl to help them sleep. Hey, our last and longest flight leaves at 8pm as far as our internal clocks will be concerned and it lasts for nearly 6 hours. And really, if you were taking 4 kids on a nearly 3,000 mile journey alone wouldn't you contemplate the use of sedatives? Maybe I should take some for myself. Ha ha!