I need a servant. Someone to go shopping for me and clean my house and give me pedicures. Yes. That is what I need.
I do not need one more ounce of stress. If one more family member hacks up a lung in my general direction, I'm jumping off a cliff. If one more "cheery" holiday shopper cuts out in front of me in their car or with their shopping cart, my head will explode. And if I think of one more thing to add to my gargantuan list, I will quickly forget it and pretend I never remembered in the first place. Ahh, denial. Works every time.
As it is, I have a ton of stuff left to do. And the really sad part of it all is that I don't really make Christmas that huge. I can't imagine what I'd be going through if I did all of those extra nifty things that earn you lots of points for your mommy badge. Like sleigh rides and knitting everyone matching Christmas sweaters with my toes while I write an enthralling Christmas letter to send out with our hand-crafted Christmas cards.
Nope. Unfortunately, even with the minimalist traditions that we do have, I am still overwhelmed.My kids wouldn't notice if we had Christmas a couple of days late, would they?
C'mon. Lie to me.
