Why oh why do I say things like: "Oh, yes, she is doing so well with potty learning! Hardly ever has an accident. Decided to start using the potty herself, even! Isn't she amazing? Aren't I the perfect mommy?" (O.K., so I didn't say the last one out loud, but c'mon, who wouldn't feel the eensiest bit of parental pride if their two-year-old decided, all by her own little self , that it was time to learn to use the potty?) Well apparently she sensed the deep pride I was beginning to have in myself and decided that I needed to be taken down a peg or two. Or maybe three. She peed her pants three times today. THREE! On purpose! I'm almost positive that the first two times she did it because she loves to take showers and knows that into the shower she'll go if she has an "accident". (That originally started out sort of as a punishment. She really didn't like showers that much. She now loves them. Drat. Foiled again.) Which brings me to the third "accident". She was angry at me for bringing her in from the car. She wanted to stay there and sleep. And you know, I'm so terribly rude and made her come in, because I didn't want her sleeping out in her car seat in zero degree weather, in the dark. I'm just mean like that. So she laid on the floor in the entry way and peed her pants. On purpose. If this is how she is at two, I refuse to ponder what her teenage years might be like. I sure hope she's over the whole retaliatory peeing thing by then.
And while we're on the subject of saying things that come back to bite you later, what sane mother ever dares utter the words: "Oh yes, she is a great sleeper. Sleeps all night long. And takes several looooong naps during the day." I mean, C'mon. I have three kids. I know better. Or I should, anyway. No naps for my baby today, unless I was holding her. Which I can deal with, except for the fact that she would prefer that I not move during said naps. At all. Thankyouverymuch. And bedtime? Why mother, what is this thing you speak of? Why oh why would I want to sleep, when I could just stare at you and smile and squeal and chew on my chubby fingers and be oh so very cute? Bedtime schmedtime.
My son got to experience a little Karma of his own today as well. We (the kids and I) were walking into the fabric store. The parking lot was pure ice. I told him, at least 5 times, to walk carefully and to hold my hand. "I know, I know!" he said. He then started to go on and on and on about how he couldn't possibly slip because he was wearing his very special GI Joe boots that his grandparents gave to him. Did I say he was going on and on? Yep, you guessed it. No sooner had he said "Mommy, if you had boots like mine, you wouldn't be so worried about fall---" THUMP. His sister thought that her brother's pain was absolutely hilarious and started laughing and promptly fell right over too. Then she got mad and tried to hit him, because she had fallen, which was of course all his fault and she's just oh so loving like that. And so she fell over again. Which made my son burst out laughing so he fell again. And then I heard myself saying the words my own mother would be proud to hear me say: "Well, if you would've just listened to me, none of this would've happened."
