It's Alright To Be Little Bitty

I am at the office.THE office. Yeah, that's right, Ben has his own practice. And I am - in his words - his Chief Minion. I'm capitalizing that. If I have to be a minion, I'm going to be a proper one.

I'm tying up some loose ends to make next week smoother and I have my iTunes playing. One of the songs is Little Bitty by Alan Jackson. When I was in college, one of my roommates (who obviously loved Alan Jackson) told me that it reminded her of me. I remember being so shocked and a little insulted. She promised that she meant it in a nice way.

And now, a decade later, I get what she meant. And I'm sure that she meant it in a nice way.

It does kinda sum up my ideal life. I am happy here, in my little town with people I know and love. I am happy to do my best to bloom where I've been planted and find joy in the little things. When Ben and I decided to come back here, I was relieved. I never wanted to go off into the wide world and try to make a life in big cities that were mostly full of strangers. I didn't hate it or anything, and I have life long friends that I made in those days. I am glad to be home though.

I remember a friend of my dad's once saying that if you cut my dad he'd bleed St. Anthony.

I think I would as well.

Might as well share, might as well smile, life goes on for a little bitty while...

I Am Crazy, Oh Yes I Am

I think I've used that title for a post before. And I KNOW I will use it again. Cause it's true.

Last night I was in the grocery store in my little town. I was in a rush, it was late and I'd almost forgotten to buy peanut butter. I needed peanut butter, for the peanut butter cookies that I've been wanting to make every Sunday for a while now, but keep forgetting to buy peanut butter for. ANYWAY. I went rushing into the peanut butter aisle and saw my sister's friend and her husband there looking at the cereal. I don't know why, but I kinda felt like I was interrupting them. Like they were taking their cereal decision very seriously and I was in the way. They weren't rude or anything like that, I just have this thing that makes me feel like I'm bugging people all the time. Even when I'm probably not bugging them at all. So I go rushing into the aisle and smile and say hi when I recognize them. Then, feeling the need to over share I announce (a little too loudly) that "I need peanut butter!". Like it's some kind of great, non obvious thing. I am, after all, standing right in front of the peanut butter. Then, just for kicks and giggles, I say - still loudly - "I hate buying peanut butter when it's not on sale! It's so expensive that way!" I laugh nervously and then proceed to pick up a jar of peanut butter, that's on sale. Who am I and where is my brain? Why does purchasing peanut butter fluster me so? And why am I such a nerd!? I thought it was something that I was supposed to be able to grow out of at some point.

At least I remembered the peanut butter, right?

A Blast From The Past

Just for my friend Sarah. She's asked me to resume blogging a couple of times now so I'll be a bird of my word. It's actually her son that made me think of this post. You see, since there are so many holes in my blogging, it can't hurt to fill them in whenever I can. And today, while at lunch with Sarah and her sweet little son Josh, I was reminded of something that happened several years ago.

It was summer time and my sister Amanda, our Mom, and I were all in my parents' shop (read: gigantic storage shed). We were organizing things and reminiscing. My kids and Amanda's were in and out, back and forth between my house and the shop. And my sweet little brother Spencer - who is less than a year older than my own son - was with them. They had been in and out so much that we weren't alarmed when they bounded in as a herd, rosy cheeked and breathless.

"Mom!" chirped Beth. She's the informer. "Spencer was choking!"
"Oh my goodness, is he ok?" I said, alarmed.
"He's fine now!" added Will. Along with his customary arm flailing. He then hopped in the air and landed in a crouch. "We were in the dining room Mom. Spencer started to CHOKE! He was coughing and coughing! I knew just what to do!"
"He did the hind lick!" added Beth
I couldn't help but laugh - how could you not?
"Yes, I did the hind lick Mom!" resumed Will "I just kept doing it until he puked Mom! I thought it was ok to stop then. Once he'd puked."
I glanced at Spencer who was listening and nodding intently along with the description of events. He looked a little flushed and his eyes were watering.
"Are you ok bud?" I asked.
"Yeah, I'm ok now. And don't worry about the puke. Jack licked it all up. First he licked it off the cupboard, then he licked it off the floor. Everything is clean now!"

I'm glad I wrote this down. My posterity deserves to remember it.

First Spencer, then Will from back in the day.

Hi My Name is Stephanie And I Don't Ever Post On My Blog.

But the prospects are looking up. Hopefully I can be a good enough mother to post some pictures of my baby. The one that will be here somtime in the next month. Yes, I am that terrible at blogging. I have almost finished my pregnancy and didn't even cronicle that I was pregnant in the first place!

So, better late than never! Lila Nicole will be here sometime before December 3, and hopefully sometime in November. Yay!

Remembering Alaska: Part One (In No Particular Order, Cause That's How I Roll)

Ella posing for Elizabeth to take her picture during our move. They took some really funny ones. She has the best facial expressions!

I know that this is not the best picture, sorry. I want to have it here, though because it's the only one I have of Beth (and Ella - isn't that sad - it's only half of her head that you can see!) on Will's baptism day.

This was in January of 2009. They were so little then! And I don't know why Will is hiding. He's weird.

The random order of these photos is making me laugh. Sorry about that. This one is Ben and Will getting into the car after Will was baptized.

This is Will and Ben before Will's baptism.

This is a close up of Elaina just a few days after she started combat crawling all over the place. Whe was so little! And so cute. She's still cute.

Will and Elaina on the way to Will's baptism.

This is Will (even before he was baptized) and Ben on Will's first day of Scouts. Ben had to show me how to get Will's neckerchief right.

This one makes me laugh because of how Ella and Beth are laying like they're comfy and at the beach or something. Not freezing to death in feet of snow.

Why is Will wearing a pink apron? That boy...

And I miss Elizabeth's super long hair and Ella's little bit of baby pudge. They're all so much bigger now!

This was the view out of our bedroom window. In November. That's a lot of snow considering it had only been snowing off and on for about a week at this point.

This is what I saw right before I left the room. Such cute girls.

This is what I saw when I came back in because they told me to come find them. Ella really didn't think that I would know where they were! Silly goose.

Elaina just learning to sit up by herself.

This is the funniest picture I've ever taken. This is Elizabeth on our trip home to Idaho when we moved back. I had promised them that I would set up the Wii in every hotel room. I told them that as long as they were quiet enough for Mommy and Daddy to sleep, they could play as much as they wanted. (It was in hopes that they could get some of their energy out and then be tired for part of the drive the next day and actually give me some quiet. Those girls can TALK.) Well, the first hotel room that we stayed in was lucky to have phone service. There were no t.v.'s in the rooms. Elizabeth was NOT. happy. at. all. The exact words she said right before I took this picture were: "I can't live like this!"

This is a picture I took at the Nature Preserve that was in our town. Isn't it beautiful? This was at the very end of October in 2008.

Some Random Funnies

Elaina loves to eat Chapstick. LOVES. Yuk.

Elizabeth was sad the other day, because her friend wasn't able to come over and play. She was crying on my shoulder. I said to her "I'm sorry that Kate can't come over". Ella ran into the room with a scared look and said "Beth got bit by a king cobra?!?"

Will is so full of personality. He is constantly making jokes and never wants to be serious. (Except in the morning - he wakes up like his mother. (not well)). He sings. ALL. the. time. In the bathroom. Doing the dishes. Playing outside. The other day he just wasn't listening to me at all. I turned to him and said "Why are you being so, so.... happy?!? Knock it off!" It sounded great for the 2 seconds that I was saying it. Ha.

I was putting Elaina's jacket on her the other day and as I pulled it over her head she screamed "Barbecue!!!" instead of peek-a-boo. It was hilarious. She also always comes to me when it's time to change her clothes and holds her arms up and says "Kin my wabbick!" (skin my rabbit). It's actually supposed to be "skin a rabbit" (which, is really gross when you think about it. It's just what my family has always said to little kids so it sounds normal to me!) Funny, funny, fun-ny.

Will keeps asking me if he needs to shave and if he can have deodorant. NO! You're 9. Nine.

Ben passed the CPA exam! (It's not funny, or random, but I just realized that I hadn't posted that yet so I'd better take the chance now before I forget again.) He's all official and stuff. Ben Clark, CPA. I'm so proud of him. It was really hard and took a bit. (That Audit section was a doozy.) All of our children and our primary class all understand taxes way too well for their ages so he's sharing his wealth of knowledge well, hee!

Ella got upset with me a couple of days ago when I told her to get dressed. She said "Mom! You don't hafta tell me! I'm a gwone up, not a little kid!"

Three posts in a week, I'm doing awesome! Now if I can add some pictures and change the layout I'll be quite proud of myself!

Does It Count That I Really Tried To Blog Yesterday?

And it's kinda funny why, after the day was through, I couldn't blog.

Ben changed my password into my email/blogger account. And didn't tell me. He saw me trying to log in. I tried for a long time. Then he asked if I had been hacked. He told me to log into his email and see if he'd been spammed by my address because that's what hackers do, you know. It wasn't until I finally asked him the flat out question "Did you change my password???" that he admitted to it.

Nerd.

I spent all of my blogging time trying to log into my account and by that point, Elaina was done with waiting for me.

It was time to start the Nightly Lainey Ritual without delay as far as she was concerned.

It's really funny and cute. And weird. Well, mostly weird, actually.

She has to lay on me like I'm her beach chair. Then, she has to hold each one of my hands. I can't do anything else with my hands. Hold a book, hold the remote, or surf the internet. At this point she always decides that I have to rub one of her ears. While holding her hand. That's trickier than it sounds and I get it wrong a lot. She squeals at me at a shockingly loud volume for such a little person until I get it right. Once all of that is on the right track, her face has to be covered up with the same blanket that must also cover every other part of her body. Then I have to hum a song that she likes. Twinkle Twinkle or Come Thou Fount are what she usually the favorites.

I can't help but think that if she wasn't my last baby (probably) she wouldn't get away with so much.

Maybe.

Do You Know How Much Stuff I Mostly Do?

A LOT. Like, pretty much everything. Like, for example, my blog. My posts are so sporadic it's just plain embarrassing. I have 4 more skirts left to sew for my girls and nieces. (one is done. yay me.)It's the day after Easter and we're dying Easter eggs for Family Home Evening. (I rock.) My daughter Elizabeth? Gave up on the Tooth Fairy. (that one I will never be able to laugh at.) I totally and completely stink at this parenting thing so much of the time.

The reason that I'm writing this post? It's quite simple, really.

To give myself a break. Because what happens to me is that I do positively great at being on top of everything that I need and want to do. For a day. Or a week. Or even sometimes a whole month. I know, I know. Try not to be jealous of my pure awesomeness. It's a sin, you know. Just sayin'.

So, instead of getting everything right for an entirely too short period of time and then beating myself up for not being Super Woman and getting depressed and entirely giving up on many of the important things, I'm going to try something new. And this is hard for me. I'm just going to take it a day at a time. (My inner Martha just died a little. Sorry inner Martha.) And, this part is even harder. I'm going to post it on my blog. The stories and pictures of the made beds and the organized linen closet. (Martha and I will really like those posts.) The confessions that my kids had cereal for dinner because I didn't want to cook or that (and I really hate admitting to this one) that Beth wore Will's (clean) socks to school because her drawer was empty and I didn't know. I really hate typing things like that. But you know what? It's my life. Like it or not. And you know what else? I like it. I really, really do. So I need to make sure that I remember it. And this is the only way it's happening.

And maybe it will be very helpful when I can have copies of my entire blog bound into book form for my children's therapists. Inner Martha will like that, a lot.

See you tomorrow!

Funny In A Weird Way

"Mom!" I heard from Ella's not ever quiet voice.

"Beth says that she sings better than I goo. That hurks my feelings."

"Oh Ella." I say. "I love you. And I love it when you sing. You make up such funny songs. They always make me smile."

"Oh Mama. I'll sure miss you when you're dead."

???

Little Boys and Little Girls

The tv is on and Will is in charge of the remote. Will, Spencer, Elizabeth, Ella, and Max are all glued to the show that is on. It's about how to survive a home invasion. (LOL and what the heck???)

The host is talking about how to use the Sleeper Hold to paralyze your captors. Will and Max are glued to the process and the diagrams of exactly how to do this the right way because as Will says - "You just want to put him to sleep, not put him into a coma." (good grief) Max looks at Will and says: "Will, this is good stuff, this is really good stuff!!

Then Ella looks at Will and says: "Gurn this OFF!!! Icks keachin (teaching) me bad stuff!"

5

That is the number of times that I have fallen down because I have slipped in something gross left on the floor of my home by someone else. Either puke or pee. I guess I'm loosing my sense of humor about it because this last time, nobody would fess up to who's puke was responsible for the shooting pain and swelling in my knee and my sudden need for a shower. When I told Ben about it, he replied "I don't blame them. I wouldn't tell you if it were me, either. You know I'm at work, right? That there's no way that it could have been me."

Dear Everyone

I am a terrible blogger.

Like you all didn't know.

Ha.

It's been over four months. FOUR MONTHS!

And a lot of stuff happened in those four months.

Will got Baptized in March while we were still in Alaska. And I actually have pictures. Not on me or anywhere near me of course. (Why would I actually USE the pictures that I took the time to snap? That's just crazy talk.) He is huge. Who told him that he could grow up?

In May, we packed two trailers and drove them from south central Alaska to south eastern Idaho. It was supposed to take, at most, 5 days (we were secretly hoping for it to take 4. Stop laughing). It took 9. Or 8 or 10. I don't even know anymore. It was quite an adventure. And because of it, my kids all now love Celtic Thunder (thanks Lays!!! You guys ROCK!). Driving through upper Alaska, the Yukon Territory, and British Columbia is mostly empty of people and radio-station-less. And also full of bears and weird caribou/mountain goat looking animals and porcupines that climb trees. (Shush Ben. I did too see them. And so did Will.) And much of the trip is seriously lacking in bathrooms. SERIOUSLY. DO SOMETHING ABOUT THE LACK OF BATHROOMS, CANADA! Something I discovered on the trip that really surprised me: Canadians really like to talk about public health insurance once they realize that you're an American. They would just bring it up to me while they were ringing up my purchases at gas stations, grocery stores, and hotels. They (at least the ones I talked to) seem to have this idea that a good chunk of the population of our country is forced to spend our time crawling through the streets in agony while our appendix burst and limbs fall off with no hope of medical attention while doctors just stand around and point and laugh. I quickly assured each of them that no, things like that only ever happen with specialists in Alaska and in Communist countries. Ha. They didn't find me funny. Good thing I do. :)

It was a little longer after we moved to Idaho before the house we planned to move into was ready. So we stayed with my sister Amanda and her husband Jed and their kids. The answer to your question is yes. Each of them will be sainted at any moment now. And now all of my children think of Kolby, Max, and Madelynn as their siblings. It's rare for us to go anywhere that they don't ask if "the other Clarks" can come. I love it.

The kids spent the summer running through the sprinklers, playing soccer, building a fort (it is still a work in progress and occupies hours of their time on a weekly basis) camping, and Ella learned to ride her bike without training wheels. Will and Elizabeth both lost most of their teeth. Or at least it felt like they did. Jack, our giant 9 month old "puppy" (he's 85 Lbs), got caught in a Hobo trap. That was fun. If you're looking for a good time, try cutting a sticky glue-y trap out of your overly large, slobbering, jumping dog's fur at 5 a.m. Then you'll know what fun is.


I know that ten zillion other things happened, too. Good things. Funny things. Memorable things even. Do I remember them? Not at the moment. Or maybe ever. At least not on my own. I'm sure that Ben will remind me of them and then I can come back and post them. Around January.

See you then!

Where Am I And Who Are All These People Calling Me Mommy?

I remember my cousin Becky saying that to me once. That sometimes it felt like one minute she was 12 and thinking about what color to paint her fingernails, and the next minute she was standing in the kitchen of her own home with multitudes of little children swarming around her, all asking for a hundred different things at once.

I feel that way a lot.

Usually every day or two I think to myself that I need to blog about this or that but don't get around to it. And then there are moments when one of my sweet little children will do something so funny that I find myself thinking that I HAVE to blog right away before the funny little thing is misplaced in the jumble of gray goo that I lovingly call my brain.

Today Elizabeth asked me if she could use my hand weights because she wants to "build up her muscles so that she can conquer the monkey bars". Sure, use them all you want I say. Elizabeth, being the teacher that she is, immediately gave Elaina the smallest set of weights so that she can "get tougher too". As she handed them to her, she made the observation that not only are they Elaina sized but that they also match her outfit. It's always a plus to match your exercise equipment, I would say.

A little while later, after Elizabeth had left Elaina and I to fend for ourselves and also coincidentally the next time that I unglued my eyes from the computer screen, I turned to see that Ella was now holding the weights, flailing her arms wildly about while singing her little heart out to a mixture of show tunes from Annie and The Sound of Music... wearing only a hooded towel. I guess she's trying to bring new meaning to the phrase 'dance like nobody is watching'.

In other news, we are moving. And yes, we are crazy. For the kids and I, it's only been 10 months since we last did this. Help.

Oy.

"William, please wear your black jeans to school today."

45 minutes later, as soon as Will jumps in the car as we leave at the last possible minute that we can and still have him be on time:

"Will! I remember specifically asking you to wear your BLACK jeans to school today! Why are you wearing those ones instead?"

"Well, mom, you said 'please wear your black jeans'. I thought that saying 'please' really made it more of a 'suggestion' than a 'requirement'."

Ha

"Steph, those cornbread muffins that you made tonight for dinner were really good."

"I'm glad that you liked them."

"No, I mean they were like really, really good. Like the best ones you've ever made."

(I'm laughing a little by now) "Dear, for the very first time in our almost 9 year marriage, I made the muffins from a box and not from scratch."

Clarks Are Kind

Pat, I know this will be hard for you to read, but my kids aren't perfect. They are very good most of the time, it's true. And they try extra hard when their Manga is around to "be even gooder" as Ella would say. But sadly, sometimes they fight. Sometimes they are what we in our family call "rudey".

Very often I sing some of the lines to "Let us oft speak kind words" when they start bickering with each other. Whichever kids are fighting are sure to roll their eyes, and whichever kids are not fighting are sure to join in with me in my singing to the "rudies".

Ella no longer needs me to help her with this. She hears Will and Beth fighting and she is off in a flash singing at a semi-deafening volume: "Peak all nice words to eek udder, ack home eeder ever you may beeeeeeee!"

Oh Ella, I just love you forever.

Dear Ella, You Are Only Three.

My mouth literally fell open when Ella asked me "Mom, can we talk about what I should do when I get to go on a date?" yesterday. She is obsessed with becoming a mommy and so we've talked about that enough for her to know that she should be married first. And in her 'I-need-to-know-every-detail-of-how-this-is-going-to-happen-right-now' mind (hm, wonder where she gets that from...), it makes total sense to her to be prepared. She understands that there is a process, that there are steps to be followed to reach her end goal. That, I admire. The fact that she wants to be prepared for DATING when she is only THREE is what just might give me a heart attack.

Ben Is A Cowboy Poet, And He Didn't Even Know It...

To my wife on Valentine’s Day
Nine years minus 38 days we have been together
Good and Bad days we have withstood the weather
I watch you sleep in the moon glow
But have learned not to wake you or you will blow
We fight and we yell, kiss and hold hands
It doesn’t matter that I’ve lost 3 wedding bands
We are tired and strained, our kids are all strange
You’ve made a good home out on the Range
You're kind and you're sweet, you’re my greatest blessin’
But you got me, so God must want you to learn a lesson
You are the mother of four and teach them to choose the right
It’s my genetics not you that make them all fight
You’re grumpy in the morning but I don’t mind
I know you’re faithful, caring, and really quite kind.
You’re a great wife, I love you my Darlin, I really really do
I am excited for tonight, tomorrow, next year, and the following 2 million and 2.

Oh Ella.

Beth: "Mom!! Ella hitted me!"
Ella: "Yep, me hick her. It knock my fault that she made the wong choice!"

A Question.

How sad is it that I buy acid free paper so that when Elaina chews on it I won't feel so guilty?